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Secret Diary of the WitchKing

Disclaimer: I have put this off for far too long. *he he* This is NOT I repeat NOT my idea I have expanded upon another's idea. Decided to right WitchKing Diary, Go Me.

The Very Secret Diary of WitchKing of Angmar

Day 1
Was made King of Angmar - go me!

Day 2
Put in place lots of laws and stuff - people don't like me anymore

Day 45
Someone tried to KILL me - chopped off his head - looks pretty sitting on table in great hall. Guests seem a little green though - must stop production of alcohol.

Day 87
I had revolts, so inconvenient. On a good note, Sauron visited today, offered me a shiny ring - it's very pretty.

Day 109
Heard Sauron's voice in my head telling me to chop off my head cook's, well head.

Day 119
Daylight starting to get to me. Everything seems misty and my voice is a little scratchy.

Day ... oh I forget
Went to war, Sauron was destroyed - couldn't find his Ring. Going to mope in Minas Morgul now.

Day something or the next
Sauron asked me nicely if I would lead the other Wraiths and hunt for some little creature who has his Ring. He was incredibly pouty for a great flaming eye though he did tell me I could have Gondor if I got it for him.

Day 1 of the Hunt
Made impressive exit from Minas Morgul - cloaks flying behind us - wish I had a mirror to see us - oh yeah we can't be seen - damn.

Day 45 of Hunt
Arrived at place called Hobbiton - what have they done to my country? It's pretty for goodness sake. Agh! Mortals. Nearly found Hobbit - I looked good on the hill though.

Day 46 of Hunt
Found hobbit but it escaped - stupid horse wouldn't jump into the water - must have words with the horse.
Later
Horse bit me - have sore hand now - not impressed. Going to Bree for drink - oh yeah - can't drink - damn.

Day 47 of Hunt
Thought had Hobbits but attacked feather pillows instead - made an awful mess - decided to screech like a bird. Wraith No.4 suggested eating Chicken Tonight - I hit him over the head with my sword. I think I crinked my neck.

Day 49 of Hunt
Found Hobbits at Weathertop - managed to stab ugly Hobbit with sword - think he saw me in shadow realm - damn didn't have any makeup on. Mangey man with sword managed to set me on fire - stupid man - saw look he gave hobbit I stabbed - other hobbit looked like he was going to kill him - sucked in.

Day 51 of Hunt
Managed to salvage clothes - looking more savage now.

Day 52 of Hunt
All wet now. Found Elf Princess - incredibly protective of Hobbit - chased her across plains. Told her to give up the Halfling - she told me to come and claim him - what an odd thing to say - then river washed us away. Not having a good week. Have to walk back to Mordor - not impressed. Might visit old home.

Day 1 of Walking home
Old home depressing.

Day 56
Feet sore - wait don't have feet - damn.

Day 134
Finally home - Orcs threw party - streamers everywhere. Played hide and seek - had great hiding spot - no one found me.

Day 145
Took Fell Beast out for a ride - screeched a bit - feels good to have the wind in my hair - wait don't have hair - damn.

Day something
Sauron told me to scout marshes - complained to him that it ruins my complexion - its amazing how a single eye can give you the 'look' went to marsh - saw some bodies came home. Sauron happy now.

Day to excited to figure it out
Sauron has told me I'm going to lead army - yippee! Get to wear my groovy crown now. Wish I could look at myself in the mirror - I bet I look good.

Day 1 of War
Set of Fireworks into sky - bet that Gandalf! Armies started marching - told Potatohead to get Osgiliath for me.

Day 2
Attacked Osgiliath - sent Wraiths 2, 4 and 7 to finish off men on horseys - told me Gandalf waved shiny light in their eyes and they couldn't see - wimps - they are only scared of pointy hat trick.

Day 3
Attacked Minas Morgul, made threatening comments about wizard, dropped men down city - they floated like ants - attacked Gandalf - he doesn't have his hat anymore and he found the bleach! Prissy princess - doesn't have neat helmet like mine though.
Later
Attacked King of Horse people - horse fell on top of him - Fell Beast wanted to eat him until got head chopped off. Thought about having Fell Beast BBQ. Warrior made menacing comments told them to go away but they wouldn't. Made me get off Fell Beast - do they realise how much that is a pain in the butt? Waved mace around a few times knocked them to ground then I think was bitten by mosquito on back of knee - told warrior couldn't kill me - she - yep you heard right she, didn't believe me and stabbed me in the eye. Talk about migraine! Oh does this mean I'm dead? Damn.

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