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Secret Diary Translation in Chinese
(thanks to echo)
Disclaimer: I have put this off for far too long. *he
he* This is NOT I repeat NOT my idea I have expanded upon another's idea. I just
loved the idea so much I HAD to write my own and I hope Haldir fans can have a giggle. I recommend you read the diaries
here
(the ones I have no affiliation with) before you read this. Put new picture up
and wrote a Gil-Galad diary (link at bottom of the page), Go Me.
The Very Secret Diary
of Haldir of Lorien
Day 1
Got made Captain today!
Big manly bonding sessions all week.
Day 9005
Met weird human today,
says name is Aragorn son of Arathon and that he is meant to be king or something,
wasn't really paying much attention.
Day 9006
Aragorn still complaining
about not being King, getting annoyed now. Suggested he take a bath and wash
hair.
Day 14007
Surprised fellowship this
morning. Made witty comment to dwarf, dwarf pissed off. Go me!
Small lawn ornament with
blue eyes caught my attention, Aragorn gave me evil look. Think the friend is
hotter. The mohawked one looked funny.
Made dwarf walk up lots
of stairs. Go me!
Day 14008
Hiding from Aragorn,
don’t want to hear him complain about not being king, still recovering from
the last time.
Caught Legolas in
Galadriel’s mirror pond. V.scary, hair was all shampooed up and was singing
into brush, think someone else was with him, possibly Celeborn. Remember
incident last autumn, *shudder*.
Later
Aragorn caught me and
whinged all afternoon and night about not being King and all about Frodo. Stupid
hobbit fancier, he’d better not try anything Sam will kill him. In hind sight
that be a good thing, then have Sam to myself.
Day 14009
Why me? Everyone is
bringing their complaints to me, can’t escape. Legolas pranced on and on about
his hair and the spot on his nose (tried not to laugh – its huge!) then he
showed me his nude rendition of The Silmarrillion and asked me what was wrong
with it – took a Valium – still in shock. Then Boromir found me and complained
about Aragorn, stupid git doesn’t he see that Aragorn is into Frodo? Escaped
Boromir then was ambushed by Sam, was happy, had nice chat with Sam.
Day 14010
Fellowship left, gave Sam
nice rope to remember me by, also gave the rest cloaks, dwarf tried to bite me
when I gave it to him. Stood on shore and watched them go, suppressed urge to
wave furiously, Galadriel was giving me the “I want to talk look” tried to
run away but she caught me.
She complained all
afternoon about hairs in her pond and about Frodo, is everyone into Frodo? Sam
is way better.
Day 14012
Hiding in forest, sick of
people thinking I’m a shrink. Leaves pretty, missing Sam.
Day 14013
Arwen found me. I
listened when she talked all about Aragorn loving hobbits and about that stupid
dwarf (what was she thinking?) Her purple dress looked out of shape – asked
her what happened to it – said Legolas wore it – typical poncy elf, that
dress looked fabulous on me.
Arwen asked if I was
still interested in her, told her about Sam, she got annoyed and said she was
going shopping, told her to try Gap at Rohan – received evil look.
Day 14014
Still
hiding in forest. Shot rabbit, Go me!
Note:
Okay from here on out - this is my stuff - no stealing the ideas from the other
Secret Diaries site - this stuff is out of my warped head - though I do embellish
on the ideas of the last section of the diary which the ideas came from the
other site - I'm babbling - enjoy!
Day
14017
Galadriel
called me today - she says she wants me for something - I shudder to think what
- I just hope she doesn't go on and on about Frodo again.
Day
14018
Got
shiny new armour today. Spent sometime looking into the river admiring my
reflection - I look good.
Day
14019
Marched
out of Lothlorien today with a bunch of Elves from Rivendell and Lorien - I'm
the only one with a red cloak, go me!
Dusk
14022
Got
to blow the horn (no not THAT horn) on arriving at Helm's Deep. We marched in,
in perfect formation (so that's what all that marching was for - I just thought
Celeborn was checking us out) I was most impressed. Met King of Rohan - he's
kinda short.
 Aragorn
HUGGED me, he HUGGED me - well at least he had had a bath - I was so in shock -
I'm sure his hand didn't brush my butt - I'm sure .... I think
Then
Legolas gave me a manly hug (I don't know why - was he trying to impress the
Rohan's or something?) Sam wasn't there - am disappointed.
Night
14022
Silly
Rohan man shot Orc to early - tried very hard not to laugh - it shut the
Orcs up though - but I had to laugh
at the dwarf (what's up with Legolas and the dwarf do they have a thing going or
something?) he just looked so stupid standing there - you could barely see his
helmet - Aragorn gave me warning looks - so I bit my lip and aimed at the Orcs
Stupid
Orcs - I shot 30 of them before they even came over the wall then I slashed up
some more - that was fun. Stupid Aragorn distracted me by calling a retreat - as
if HE could be a King and the Orc stabbed me - stupid Orc that really hurt. Then
another Orc cut me in the back - I looked around and saw Aragorn racing up to me
- I was still the best looking Elf.
Day
14023
I'm
in Valinor - yay! Though I kinda miss the mallorn trees and Sam, definitely miss
Sam. Oh crap Gildor's here to - gotta run.
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